I came across this little gem while (interestingly enough) looking for a job. It is displayed quite prominently on the Dutch Brothers Coffee website (http://www.dutchbros.com/AboutUs/ -if you're interested). I'm thinking of printing it out & putting it all over my house. One can never have too much affirmation and encouragement throughout the day, right?!

                                          The Optimist Creed

             To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

               To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

                   To make all your friends feel there is something in them.

   To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

     To think only the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.

  To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

  To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

   To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

  To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Isn't that magnificent!! After reading it several times, I thought I'd go look up who authored it, etc., and found this:

                                 "Written by Christian D. Larson almost 100 years ago, the Optimist Creed was authored in 1912 by Chistian D. Larson, appearing in his book Your Forces and How to Use Them. It was adopted as Optimist International's creed in 1922. Many have found inspiration in The Optimist Creed. In hospitals, the creed has been used to help patients recover from illness. In locker rooms, coaches have used it to motivate their players."

I also found out that there are Optimist Clubs whose mission is to "bring out the best in kids". Reading through their site, they stress the need for people to live an optimistic lifestyle. This always brings me back to the "It's Not About Me" way of thinking. Being truly happy is merely a by-product of wanting only good for others..it's some sort of a "law" I guess you could say. Being a victim of life gets you nothing but pain and destruction.

That's my two cents anyway...(and I can't believe I've never seen this creed until now!!) Now I'm off to find that book "Your Forces and How To Use Them". I'm hoping it's not steeped in Buddhist beliefs like "The Secret" was- that was a big let-down. I ALWAYS stand on John 15:5 when I'm unsure- if anyone/thing tries to tell me otherwise, I immediately discard it. I'll update if I end up finding the book.

Thanks.

...because I've been an absolute monster the past few.

Forgive me, Lord.

(Lamentations 3:22-23...phew!!)

Regret

I don't like that word: regret. I don't really believe in it- we really should regret nothing in this life. Every experience, whether through some poor choice or whatever, is something we can learn from.

                                                                       BUT

I do indulge in the occasional self-loathing "pity party" and I had such a moment today. I felt overwhelmingly sad and incompetent. Soooo...when my Katy was a baby, I decided I was going to write her a letter (at least) on every birthday for her future reading pleasure. It started off wonderful. I was bubbling over with things I wanted her to know: how much I love her, all the things that happened and milestones she achieved throughout the year, etc.. I had them stashed away in a special box and added to it often. As Kennadi arrived only 13 months after Katy, I had quite a few, as I was writing them every few months as well as on their birthdays.

Something happened once Cayden was born (15 months after Kennadi if you didn't know). They became fewer and farther between. I'm pretty sure I had 12 or so in there and by Cayden's second birthday the number hadn't moved much. It really didn't bother me that much. I was busy with 3 kids..nothing to get depressed over. I was journaling alot so I had plenty to tell them in the birthday letters.

                                                                         THEN

We started moving every year or in some cases, less than a year. We always had super short notice-a week or less- so inevitably, tons of stuff got left behind every move (mainly toys & furniture). It was sad to see the kiddos upset but there wasn't much I could do about it. I'm sure you can tell where I'm going with this...yes, the box of letters got left behind. But the worst part of it is, I don't remember where it was left and even worse still, why I forgot about it for several years. It actually brought me to tears thinking of some random person finding this special box filled with precious memories and hopes and dreams for my babies and carelessly tossing it in the trash. :(

Alas and alack, I've grieved and gotten over it. I am going to start all over I think.

                                       This is the dress I'd like to purchase for Easter

but stubbornly, I will not

It's the strangest thing-I  L.O.V.E. dresses! I enjoy looking through rack upon rack, even trying them on and conjuring up places/events to wear them to. I reeeeally love them from the 50's, 60's & 80's at the local vintage store. I bought this lovlieness almost a year ago and have yet to wear it:

It's nice and light and 80's-ish. When I bought it, I envisioned a thick, funky patent leather belt w/ matching red flats. Maybe a unique headband, some chunky bracelets, and simple black bow earrings (yes..I do get detailed up in my head...it never materializes, sadly). And yet, it hangs in the back of my closet along with my"skinny clothes".

             What a depressing existence. I outta find a fashionable gal and gift it to her.....

So what's my malfunction? I severely hate the way my legs look in dresses. I dunno what it is but I am beyond self-conscious. It's more along the lines of obsessed. Pathetic, I know. It infuriates my husband. Heck, it infuriates me!! In my mind, I don't have legs..I have tree stumps. Even with leggings or nylons.

                                                        It's safe to say...I have issues.

..but do you know what you were meant to do? Do you feel passionate enough about anything to be psyched about it every morning when you wake up? I'm sure some would say just being a parent is a dream come true and that's cool. For them. But I mean, really? When you were a kid, did you really dream about being a parent and nothing else? Doubtful. What about when the kids grow up and leave the nest? You'll have to figure out who you are without them.

I've been feeling like that- do I have any passions? Who am I apart from a mom? I don't even know. How sad is that?!! I have plenty of interests and things I think I'd really enjoy, but nothing (that I know of) I'd fight for tooth and nail.

What about you? What's your passion? What one thing could you do/are you doing day in and day out that makes your heart sing?

perfect

                                 I could literally listen to this all day. Her voice is heaven.

boundaries?

Ok. I've got a question: what are the boundaries for a mom? And what I mean is, are there things that just are NOT appropriate to wear, do, say, think, etc or does motherhood not change your lifestyle? What spurred this? The lovely, slender and talented Gwyneth Paltrow and a dress.

So..what do you think? Is that a beautiful dress? Yes, I think it is. Would I kill to have the body to fit into such a dress? Eh..kill is a strong word...perhaps maim (wink wink). But more importantly, is that appropriate for a nearly 40 year old mother of 2? I honestly don't know. I only know that I personally would feel like a complete idiot if I wore that anywhere- killer body or not.

Perhaps Holly-weird standards don't apply to us "normal" folk. Maybe it's the money thing; if I made multi-millions I might possibly have different rules of "appropriate-ness". But I doubt it.

Just knowing that I have 5 little sets of eyes, ears, and hearts soaking up every little thing I do, say, imply, associate with, etc. keeps me up at night. Why? Because I know me. I know how I talk sarcastically, how I blurt things out about other people before thinking about it, how I laugh at..umm..let's say, unsavory things, how I say how fat I am all the time, how I handle stress, ..the list continues but I'm too ashamed to put most of it out there. Yikes!

It seems like parenthood is a big joke or game to alot of people. I get it though- they wanna give their miniatures the childhood they wish they coulda' had or they just wanna be buds cuz discipline is too harsh and old-school or..i dunno..whatever the reason is, I mostly get it. But it's not a game and it's dead serious..no joke!! Of course, we don't take life too seriously, I say that all the time, but raising the next generation is a BIG DEAL!! I point all ten fingers at myself..never at anyone else because it's not my job to judge how you are raising yours. I only know that we gotta work together to put these kids on the right track because no one can do it alone and Lordy knows I need all the help I can get and the occasional pat on the back for not inspiring "Problem Child 3" or "Chucky's Cousins".

P.S.- Don't ask how I saw that pic of G.P. and went on this tangent. I really couldn't tell ya.

P.P.S.- Do tell me what you think..do things change or can you keep the mini-skirts, go partying, cuss like a sailor and do whatever's clever to you at the moment without damaging the kiddies?